Author's Note: I wrote this narrative as a creative piece written from a unique perspective. I was thinking about how tortuously hot it was this summer for the people around here, and I thought it would be fun to see the heat from a different point of view. Clearly I think that Mother Nature would interpret the heat of last July quite differently than we did for several reasons.
July 4, 2012
Today started out like it had every day for the past few weeks. My sun came out strong, emitting scorching hot rays across a cloudless sky and frying the last of any possible moisture from the shriveling, brown fields. I felt confident that I would show those Wisconsinites the true meaning of drought in the hopes that they would, for once, celebrate the holiday indoors instead of scarring my earth with fireworks and filling my air with grill smoke. I never would have guessed how determined those Northerners are at having a good time, even in record-breaking heat.
As I cast my gaze across a seemingly lethargic morning, I heard a low hum coming from the small towns west of Milwaukee.
“Huh?” I gasped in bewilderment. I assumed that these blue-collared town folk would certainly be the least of my concerns today. Knowing so many of them work outside, I figured these people would relish the opportunity to soak up the AC on their day off. Oh, how wrong I was.
As I leaned in closer, I noticed a buzz of movement going on, particularly in my beautiful waters that dotted the area. Boats were covering my lakes like ants on their hills! Furious, I ordered my sun to crank up the heat, pushing the weather to triple digits and turning the humidity to unforeseen heights.
“That’ll show them!” I thought, watching ice cream and popsicles melting quicker than ice on hot coffee. I could hear murmurs from people curing my name, and I thought that they certainly would be heading indoors for some salads or cold cuts. That’s when I saw the smoke.
“What in the world…” I shrieked. “GRILLS?!”
Sure enough, those crazy Wisconsinites had started up grills on their boats, wafting the smells of burgers and brats into my precious ozone.
“How DARE they!”
In a fury, I tried to summon all of the biggest nuisances I possessed. But it didn’t take me long to realize that, in my vein attempt to save myself, I was torturing my other creatures and forces of nature as well.
The wasps and bees kept shaded, starving from the lack of nutrient-rich foliage.
Mosquitoes and flies hung out in what barely remained of the dwindling swamps and mud ponds.
And I had pushed the rainclouds so far south that there was no way that any of them would make it back up here in time today.
I slumped slowly into one of the few, cheery white clouds that floated next to my sun feeling sad and regretful. My selfishness over a few harmless grills had made all of my creatures miserable. And, as my sun began to set, I saw the people in my hot lakes swimming happily next to my very sullen fish who were not used to the temperatures I have been subjecting them to for so long.
Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, I saw something explode in the air. Then again. And again.
“Fireworks?! My poor, arid land can’t possibly handle that! What are they thinking?!”
I approached the site and felt the defeat before I saw it. Those crafty creatures were shooting those explosives off in the lakes, far from the dangers of field fires!
At that point, I couldn’t help but chuckle to myself and, for once, decided to enjoy the rainbows of color that twinkled off of my waters.
I guess they don’t call this area Lake Country for nothing.
